*This week’s About Time newsletter is written by Jessica Pallay. Check in next time for writing by Kaity Velez. For January and February, we’ll being donating 30% to the Marshall Plan for Moms to help pay for unseen, unpaid labor.
I just spent 10 days at home (thanks Omicron!), several of them gloriously alone, and I literally did not know what to do with myself. I had been dreaming about this “break” for about 10 years (the dream did not include Covid, but alas, I’ll take what I can get), and yet when the time came, I severely underperformed my “me-time” expectations.
That’s not to say I didn’t do anything while I was alone. I actually did many things. But I’m not sure any of them were really break-worthy. And when my family returned home (after what seemed like about 5 minutes but was actually several days), I had absolutely not achieved any state of zen.
It turns out that now that I am in my mid-40s, I have no real hobbies, and no real understanding of how to relax, recharge and recalibrate. Instead, here’s what I did on my “Covid Break”:
The dishes. I mostly used the dishwasher, which led to another fun, time-consuming activity: unloading the dishwasher. I also did some dishes by hand, since, you know, I had the time, but then I broke a ramekin, and the additional activity of cleaning up broken glass, while time-consuming, was not as much fun. So back to the dishwasher.
Vacuum. It took me more than a month to unbox the Dyson I bought on Cyber Monday, and I really made it into a celebration: I registered my new machine online (Dyson emailed me to thank me! So sweet!), then I collected trash bag-fulls of dirt, took pictures of them, and sent them to my sister. Several hours of dirt-texts later, it was time for me to do more dishes.
Threw things away. All that vacuuming required moving things around to really get in there, and then I realized my husband probably didn’t need that huge golf trophy that he won several years ago (while I was taking care of our children), especially because it’s been living under a pile of his clothes in the corner for three years. I also threw away the pile of clothes because I do not do my husband’s laundry, and I had to vacuum.
Read. Not for fun, mind you. I had a stack of New York Times to get through, magazines included, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to give up on that front page from mid-November just because it’s totally outdated.
Exercise. Who tricked us into thinking exercise was “me-time”? I’m into it, don’t get me wrong, and I like that you have to shower after (which could possibly also qualify as “me-time”) but anything that doesn’t feel great until you’re done doing it doesn’t really count as relaxation.
Work. I decided my free time was a great time to catch up on doing work because after spending the last two years taking care of my kids during a pandemic, doing work actually makes me feel kind of nice. That’s a little weird, right?
Now, I know there are hobbies out there. I’ve seen you guys on Instagram doing puzzles. Baking bread. Writing poetry. Beading. Making tiny early 20th century dollhouses. But I do not do any of these things. Should I? How do they actually make you feel? And how do you figure out which one is for you?
I feel like choosing a hobby could be a full-time job. Maybe you guys can just choose a few for me?
I’d like to blame my lack of hobbies on my children for consuming my brain space, or our generation for making us feel like we need to hustle all the time. But the more I think about it, the more I realize the issue isn’t really my lack of hobbies, but actually my lack of time that prevents me from having hobbies. When I do have time, I’m so freaked the fuck out that I throw myself into productivity mode.
I’ve been reading a lot about how Gen Z are really into prioritizing self-care, so maybe instead of a hobby, I’ll learn how to self-care like them! They talk about mental health, they take alllll the vacations, and they advocate for time to take their pets on walks during work hours. I mean, my cat deserves a little walk around the block, no? Me too?
Some things I love (or want to love?) and need more time for:
Seeing friends. Not just on Instagram.
Reading. For fun!
Doing the Spelling Bee. Then finding friends who do the Spelling Bee so I can see if I beat them at the Spelling Bee.
Nothing! That’s self-care right?
Is overanalyzing your hobby? Perfect! Want to overanalyze me? I want to hear whether you think it’s the lack of hobbies or lack of time that I’m struggling with. Or maybe it’s just covid?
If the last few weeks are any indication, more of us might have 10 (or 5!)-day breaks in our immediate future, so if you don’t already have one, you should also start thinking about hobbies too.
Share your fave hobbies in the comments below. Maybe I’ll try them. Probably not.
photo of Russell Crowe via Pinterest. He may or may not knit in real life.
Desperately need a hobby… unless adding to cart and then closing the tab is one ?
Hobbies have been on my mind for a while too! My husband has so many! Not only does he like to fly fish, but he likes to make the little flies so that’s like 2 hobbies in 1! I don’t have any, but want at least one. Like finding a good therapist that I like, I know it’ll be good for me to find a hobby I love, but it’s so time consuming! The thought of trying out a bunch to see what sticks feels both exciting and exhausting. The top contenders right now are watercolor painting classes, pottery classes, or piano lessons. 🤷♀️ I thought about tennis for a second but that scares me. 😰